nostalgiathon, but it's all fanfiction

What else screams ✨nostalgia✨ better than the copious amount of fanfiction I read throughout my high school days :")

I rarely feel very nostalgic over things... like Harry Potter & Percy Jackson? Good memories but I have never felt much nostalgic fondness. Haikyuu!! fanfics that I read during the most boring summer breaks, however, make me feel all the feels. Also, it's just in time for HQ!! DAY (8/19) in August!

When the school system failed me and made me hate reading books, fanfiction was always there to keep me from giving up reading entirely. And after getting back into published books and reading fanfiction alongside published books, I'm still really amazed at how fanfic authors do this for free. They write this stuff and put it out for the public to enjoy for free. So, love and respect fanfic authors!! 

I chose a good mix of stories I remember quite fondly, and stories I don't remember much at all (except for the fact that I remember I loved them). I'm really excited to spend my August reading old fanfiction I adored back in grade school. I start school this month though, so sadly I wasn't able to get through as many as I wanted to. I mostly only had time for reading short fics & one-shots, especially since Come Morning Light was a good 3x longer than most books and long fics.

For the longer fics, I'm updating as I read, then editing after I finish. So if some of the sections sound vaguely like twitter reading threads, well now you know.

Also, for all of these, please heed warnings! They're all different AO3 ratings (most are T, some are M, there's the occasional E)

Out of 5💖's to measure how much I loved them post-reread.

💗 → 1/2 💖

Come Morning Light by SharkbaitSekki

This might be the first one I talk about in this entire post, but buckle up because this was the longest one I read for the entire readathon. 

I raved about this fic so much back in high school. It was a really fun experience re-reading it, especially since it's been so long since I've read it, I only vaguely remember some plot points. I had a lot of thoughts re-reading this, I actually made a twitter thread for my re-read which was actually very helpful in recalling my thoughts about certain parts of the story since this fic is 3 times as long as your average 400 page book.

I like how the author was able to develop each character's personality very realistically. Each character starts off with their canon personality, but most of them change a lot due to the circumstances and the brutality they've witnessed. I especially liked Kuroo, Noya, Daichi, Yamaguchi, and Kageyama's developments. Kageyama was a very interesting character because he definitely retained his canon personality, but also he grew in so many ways that obviously never happened in canon but make sense somehow. Towards the end he does something that still has me in pieces today, because you'd think that a more sociable & visibly empathetic character would have done it, but it was Tobio. And Kuroo's characterization was probably my favorite; I can definitely see Kuroo being the shrewd, calculating, and cold type in the midst of an apocalypse.

I think the characters that made me the saddest throughout the story were probably Iwaizumi and Oikawa and everything they went through. Their chapters are probably the darkest chapters of the entire fic and my heart felt really heavy and empty at the same time while I was reading their story. The author didn't explicitly state everything they've been through (mostly in Oikawa's situation), but their struggle to reclaim autonomy really hurt to read about. Also, even though this is a gen (no relationships) fic, the iwaoi is strong and they make me so sad every time. I think the character that was the most changed from canon would have to be Oikawa (for obvious reasons if you've read the fic), and honestly Oikawa in this fic breaks my heart every time.

Also I made the mistake of reading a lot of this in the dead of the night? I forgot how eerie it gets I was lowkey kinda scared to sleep the one time I was reading until 5 AM. 

About the writing, it's very obvious that the author is a Registered Nurse since all of Suga and Yamaguchi's medical procedures are written with so much detail. Also, this author is so dedicated; this read-through I noticed this author's note that said that they walked for 5 hours straight with a heavy backpack just so they could relate to what they're putting the boys through. 

Even though it's been 3 years since I read it last, it was still thoroughly entertaining. The plot was riveting and the writing was good. I think I found the writing to be a lot more over-explanatory (?) than when I first read it, but that's probably because I've grown up and have gotten better and reading between the lines. The me of 3-4 years ago probably appreciated all the explanations of the characters' feelings and motivations.

I was never able to make up my mind about how I felt about the ending...it's a very open-ended ending, meant to allow the readers to imagine what happens to each character post-main story & pre-epilogue, but I was never able to make up my mind about my own ending. But I think I've come up with a vague ending of my own imagination so if you've read this fic and would like to know my take, read below: 

I like to think Hinata, Kuroo, Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, and Bokuto live. Akaashi passes away. One of those two possibilities. And I don't think Akaashi ever tells Bokuto his secret. Because, as the author says, it's not improbable to harbor a secret for life and I'm also tired of the "the truth will set you free" cliche. I also think Akaashi harboring so much guilt would do something rash in an attempt to keep Bokuto safe. And I think, for max angst, it would be interesting to see a Bokuto without Akaashi. And for the others, I like the idea of Hinata living and reuniting with Kageyama because I'm soft. I also think it would be fitting for Kuroo to live, once again, despite the deaths happening around him. I think it would weight heavily on him though, living despite everything. For Tsukishima and Yamaguchi, I don't know I just can't stomach the thought of any of them dying because Yamaguchi has gone through too much and he's grown so much I don't want him gone. And I just can't kill Tsukishima off I just can't.

💖💖💖💖💗 

Against All Odds by SharkbaitSekki

I've re-read this several times before already I think...so here we go again LOL

There are some parts of this that still hit hard even today. "I want to not be sick anymore" guts me every single time I read this fic. 

I always forget that this fic is quite old because there are pop-culture references that I feel like were popular back in 2014-2015, but I've completely forgotten about until it was brought up again in the story. And also old memes that were widely used back then that are not used anymore now. I feel old.

Anyway, is it possible to get through all of the dads without spoiling anything? I'm not sure but I'll try.

I really loved the exploration of different single family homes and different ways young children are affected by big changes in their lives. Honestly, each one of them breaks my heart, but it's a relatively happy story so each of them get their relatively happy ending :D

These fathers all love their sons with their entire hearts, but even then they aren't perfect fathers. Each of them make their own mistakes, ranging from as severe as borderline neglect to failing to understand their kids' wants/needs. Of course they don't do these things on purpose, since there's a lot of stress upon their shoulders from trying to support a child on their own, whether that be financial problems or just a lack of time to devote to their kid. 

Overall, I really really love this fic. I love the found-family aspect when it comes to the captains and how they find comfort in each other. I love the familial relationships and the dynamics between parent-child pair. I love the exploration of trauma and how the psychology of each child differs according to each dynamic. 

💖💖💖💖💖 ((It's definitely not a perfect fic but it holds a very special place in my heart and I always love reading it))

Boiled Frogs by reginagalaxia

This is my second time re-reading this because I first read it in 2016? And then re-read it in 2018 I think so 2 years in between each read haha :")

I honestly don't remember much from this? I vaguely remember certain things like IwaOi and Hanamaki's denial of his feelings then his pining, and I of course remember the absolute rage I felt towards the abusive (OC) boyfriend. I completely forgot that this fic implements that storytelling technique where they start in the present (?), show a hint of the emotional abuse and manipulation Matsukawa is going through in the present timeline, then backtracks to 5 years before and shows how he gets into this situation. I vaguely remember how terrible the abusive boyfriend (Ichiro) was, which is why I felt such a terrible sense of horror and dread when Matsukawa first spoke to Ichiro. And it was jarring to see how smitten he was by Ichiro in the initial stages of their relationship. Sometimes I forget that these abusive and manipulative people start off seeming perfectly lovely.

I forgot how annoying Ichiro is...he has the gall to insult Matsukawa's friends and their dynamic? Not okay. Also, Momo is amazing? I love her so much. Her relationship with Hanamaki was adorable and I actually felt a high level of emotional attachment to her despite her being an OC.

There are so many things I really love about this fic. The friendship between Oikawa, Iwaizumi, Hanamaki and Matsukawa is written so well, it makes you want to be a part of their chaotic squad. I really love how they love and support each other through everything. And, as usual, the IwaOi made me tear up even though this isn't even an IwaOi fic. I also think that in light of all the Oikawa hate that I found out still exists (why does it exist I don't understand), I really loved Oikawa's characterization in this fic. He's a good friend. An extremely loyal and perceptive friend. Honestly, Oikawa does so much for them I'm emotional just thinking about him. Wow and in chapter 7, Hanamaki even addresses people's (read: fandom's) misconception of Oikawa too! 

I wasn't expecting this, but I think this one might be my favorite re-read yet out of all the multi-chapter fics I've read for this readathon. I also think that out of all the fics in my nostalgiathon TBR, this one is probably the one that is most aligned with my current tastes? Anyways, overall this fic is still really good and it continues to hold a very special place in my heart.

💖💖💖💖💖 ((absolutely amazing characterization and a very touching and agonizing story))

shorter fics/one-shots

the bells echo the impermanence of all things by deplore

"next time I'll do everything for me, if it makes you feel better"

Funny how I talked about Haikyuu!! for the entire intro and ended up starting off with a My Hero Academia fic.

This is actually a one-shot, but I wanted to include it anyway because it was and still is one of the best fics I've read. ever. It really stood the test of time, especially since it was able to make me feel more than I felt the first time around? Probably because hindsight allowed me to pick out specific details to cry over. And yes, I did tear up a lot. 

I also really liked the characterization of both Bakugo and Todoroki. They're both very in-character, but also not perfectly in character because the author accounted for the fact that they would have matured in the future. And I really liked that very much.

The subtlety in this fic is immaculate. I also really loved the diction and the syntax; the fic was structured in such a way that it evoked the most emotion and I loved it. I honestly really want to talk about this fic at length but it's not very long and I can't say much about it otherwise I would spoil the entire thing.

Overall, I want to give this an infinite amount of stars because it's just that great.

💖💖💖💖💖 ((absolute perfection I loved this so much. Dare I say I liked it better in 2020 than in 2017? But anyways this fic continues to amaze me))

it's easier for you to let me go by burritosong

"the one with the proposal"

ohmygoodness it's been a while since this one. I completely forgot about it until I scoured my Nekoma fic recs post that I archived.

I'm reading my old review and I said something about how I found it an interesting study in relationship issues because I've heard so much about relationships and the hardships that come along with them, but never experienced one myself. And that still holds true today so my character development? nonexistent.

I think when I first read this back in the 2015's I mostly loved Yaku and the portrayal of his ostracism from his family and the comfort he finds in Lev's family, and I wanted to give him the biggest hug and tell him that he deserves all the love in the universe. And this still holds true, but upon re-read the thing that really left an impression on me is just how patient and loving and kind Lev is. And how long he waited. And how, every time Yaku pushes him away in fear, he waits until Yaku is ready, even if that takes years and years, because Lev loves him. 

Overall, the writing in this was beautiful and I see why it was one of my absolute favorites way back when.

💖💖💖💖💗 ((very well deserving of my love))

list of very nice, new fics I've discovered that no one asked for

(this entire section is lowkey rarepair galore to anyone who is looking for that good rarepair content)

liminal spaces by hhatsuna

"it's easier than you'd think to ignore loving your teammate"

This one's super slice-of-life mundane, which is always a fun time, but the pining. The yearning. It was *chef's kiss* beautiful. There are always certain characters in every fandom whose POV I love reading about, and in the HQ!! fandom my current favorite POV's are definitely Kageyama and Atsumu.

 Just a story about Atsumu falling in love with Sakusa that I adore :") 

(AKA the fic that made me fall in love with Atsumu & Sakusa & SakuAtsu)

💖💖💖💖💗 ((the author of this fic also wrote pas de deux which is another really good sakuatsu fic that I highly recommend))

My What Now? by sandersonsister

Fake dating AU! AKA the fic that got me into OiKage so I wholly blame this fic for my descent into a life of scavenging for crumbs. It was a really fun time though. I really loved the KageKuni friendship and also Kuroo, Bokuto, and Oikawa being friends and going to the same college and playing volleyball together? Love it.

💖💖💖💖

we'd light up again by submersive

"the one where Kageyama Tobio moves to Italy, misses his dumb friends, relies on the unofficial homesick support group comprised of his dumb ex-teammates, makes new friends with his dumb new teammates, and definitely does not find love with a dumb ex-upperclassman (again)."

This one was just so much fun? Like first of all, OiKage. I love OiKage. But best of all, Tobio & friends? The friendships were probably the absolute best part of this fic. Kageyama's relationship with the Japan National Team and the Adlers was hilarious. I loved his antics with Hoshiumi and Sokolov and I especially loved his friendship with Ushijima. UshiKage Best Friends For Life 💕 And Kageyama's friendship with Tsukishima too! #TKKGRISE 

I want what the Karasuno 1st year group has :") Their zoom birthday cooking sessions were just the absolute cutest thing. 

💖💖💖💖💗

All in the Cards by Killthespare

Another one that was pure fun! Royalty AU with assassins and spies? My jam. I loved the secret identity thing Hinata had going on and his friendships (especially with Tsukishima!). I'm finding that I really love friendships with Tsukishima :")

There's a sequel to this and it's also been a fun time this universe is just really fun to read.

💖💖💖💖

spaced out by tangerines (adequater)

"Tsukishima thinks, this feels a lot like the sun."

This was so cute. Lately I've just been craving a lot of Karasuno 1st year gang as 3rd years, since we were deprived of that in canon, and I came across this TsukiKage fic and it made my heart melt. I loved seeing how Kageyama would grow as a person and become a good role model to his underclassmen, and how much the underclassmen would look up to him. And honestly, even though this is Tsukishima POV, you can just tell how badly Kageyama was pining and I loved it.

💖💖💖💖 

across oceans, across centuries by starstrikes

"six days ago, Osamu died and left Atsumu with this: Atsumu, you have to—"

Another favorite AU of mine across all fandoms has got to be the Pacific Rim AU, because BFMTIAS by Authoress has made me appreciate the movie that much more and I've watched it a good 10 times now and it's probably my favorite movie. Probably because it also has so much potential for a good angst fic. And this one... this one was definitely painful and it has skyrocketed to a spot on my favorites list because of its beautiful portrayal of the relationship between the Miya twins and how Miya Atsumu deals with grief.

+ a very nice background sakuatsu but I mostly loved this for the Miya twins' relationship & Atsumu (+ Suna) in mourning. 

(I honestly haven't been able to get this fic out of my head since I've read it because it really is that good)

((also I may or may not have teared up reading this))

💖💖💖💖💖 ((extra big font and 5 big hearts because I can't emphasize how much I want everyone to read this please read this I love this))

⸺ ⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕ ⸺

Things I've learned from this fanfic re-read binge:

These are all still really good and I first read a lot of them early-mid high school. Younger me had taste these re-reads were all so fun.

My taste really has changed from back in high school. I was looking through my old bookmarks and my tastes ran pretty dark (war AU's, mafia AU's, etc.). And though my tastes still run dark, I think they're a more realistic dark? In high school a lot of stuff I either bookmarked, left kudos, or noted down were apocalypse heavy. I honestly don't remember liking apocalypses that much (thanks Pacific Rim I guess) but my bookmarks say I do. I mean I still like them though, as proven through the fact that one of my new favorite fics is a Pacific Rim AU.

I think another thing that has changed from then to now is the fact that reading about high schoolers really isn't my thing anymore. I think back in high school I enjoyed reading fics that take place in a universe that resembles canon, but the older more I like aged-up fics. At this point I pretty much almost only like aged-up fics. I guess since the time skip happen I can argue that I like reading about canon-resembling universes, as long as it's post-time skip. I do love reading about MSBY and Adlers shenanigans. So I think that affected my reading of some of them. 

I just want to again thank fanfic authors for all the work they've done for the fandom. How they take the time and effort to write novel-length stories of these characters we love and put it out to the world so selflessly. 

Okay time to hopefully go back to my TBR since I strayed so much... sorry to everyone who was buddy reading with me I have fallen so behind on all my buddy reads :")

—璇