May Wrap-Up

AKA: I (mostly) take a break from reading series

I kinda failed at following my very short TBR of books 😅  I realized that TBR's aren't really my thing and if I try to plan out what I'm going to read next I lose interest pretty quickly... however I do plan on getting to those books one day I promise!
I've also decided to add the book genre and any trigger/content warnings I can think of to each book I mention.

It was really difficult to read this month since I was unexpectedly bombarded by loads of schoolwork since May is my school's midterm season. I also fell into a reading slump this month (and I blame it wholly on the Green Creek series because I haven't enjoyed anything as much as I enjoyed those books), and halfway through the month I told myself it would be a miracle if I even had 4 books to talk about this month :") Thankfully I still managed to read a bit (a certain book might have helped push me through the slump).

So without further ado, in chronological order, here are all the books I read this month: 

May Wrap-Up

Books Mentioned:

• The Sword of Kaigen by M.L. Wang
• I'll Give You the Sun by Jandy Nelson
• The House in the Cerulean Sea by T.J. Klune
• Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng
• Normal People by Sally Rooney
• Carry On by Rainbow Rowell
• Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell

**summaries taken from the book & might be tweaked to avoid spoilers & such

Genre: Adult High-Fantasy

Trigger/Content Warnings: war, violence, death, rape, abuse, miscarriage

The Sword of Kaigen by M.L. Wang

Summary

A mother struggling to repress her violent past, a son struggling to grasp his violent future, a father blind to the danger that threatens them all. 

When the winds of war reach their peninsula, will the Matsuda family have the strength to defend their empire? Or will they tear each other apart before the true enemies even reach their shores? High on a mountainside at the edge of the Kaigenese Empire live the most powerful warriors in the world, superhumans capable of raising the sea and wielding blades of ice. For hundreds of years, the fighters of the Kusanagi Peninsula have held the Empire's enemies at bay, earning their frozen spit of land the name 'The Sword of Kaigen.' Born into Kusanagi's legendary Matsuda family, fourteen-year-old Mamoru has always known his purpose: to master his family's fighting techniques and defend his homeland. But when an outsider arrives and pulls back the curtain on Kaigen's alleged age of peace, Mamoru realizes that he might not have much time to become the fighter he was bred to be. Worse, the empire he was bred to defend may stand on a foundation of lies. Misaki told herself that she left the passions of her youth behind when she married into the Matusda house. Determined to be a good housewife and mother, she hid away her sword, along with everything from her days as a fighter in a faraway country. But with her growing son asking questions about the outside world, the threat of an impending invasion looming across the sea, and her frigid husband grating on her nerves, Misaki finds the fighter in her clawing its way back to the surface.

Rating: ★★★★★ (5/5)

This was the first high-fantasy novel I've ever read and I am so glad I picked it up. Since I've started reading again I've been really intimidated to pick up a high-fantasy novel since they're so long and the thought of learning and understanding a new world and magic system was daunting to my brain since it doesn't retain much information. But this book has made me more comfortable with learning new magic systems and worlds; it takes a bit of time but I got the hang of it after a while!

I loved the premise of the story and I really loved the characters. I loved experiencing the story through Misaki's point of view. I think I've gotten too used to reading about worlds through young protagonists' eyes, and reading about war through a mother's eyes was absolutely heartbreaking. She's a character with so many different layers to her personality, everything was a surprise when it came to Misaki.

I really enjoyed the pacing of the book and how towards the end it slowed down and took time to address the change in family dynamics and show just how much war affects people. I also just really love when authors explore family dynamics, and I wasn't expecting it in such a fast-paced fantasy novel, so I was very pleasantly surprised at how satisfied I felt about the characters in the end.

The ending was a little too open-ended for my liking, but it was understandable since The Sword of Kaigen is a standalone prequel to Wang's Theonite series, but I still wanted a bit more closure than I got. I also don't really know where I stand when it comes to Takeru's character? I don't know if the explanation of his behavior makes up for what we see from him in the beginning...

Overall, I really loved this high-fantasy book. A lot more than I was expecting to.  It's the kind of book I want to recommend to everyone looking for a book with a riveting plot, well-written action scenes, and a whole boatload of emotion. 

(Also as of the time I'm writing this it's currently available on kindle for prime readers for free so go read it now!)

Genre: YA Contemporary

Trigger/Content Warnings: death of a loved one, sexual assault, homophobia

I'll Give You the Sun by Jandy Nelson

Summary

"We were all heading for each other on a collision course, no matter what. Maybe some people are just meant to be in the same story."

At first, Jude and her twin brother Noah, are inseparable. Noah draws constantly and is falling in love with the charismatic boy next door, while daredevil Jude wears red-red lipstick, cliff-dives, and does all the talking for both of them. Years later, they are barely speaking. Something has happened to change the twins in different yet equally devastating ways… but then Jude meets an intriguing, irresistible boy and a mysterious new mentor. The early years are Noah's to tell; the later years are Jude's. But they each have only half the story, and if they can only find their way back to one another, they'll have a chance to remake their world.

Rating: ★★★★ (4/5)

This was such a whimsical read. It was very whimsical and magical without actually being magical, and it made me feel young and full of dreams once again. I spent a good amount of my middle school and high school days in love with studio art, and this story was full of so much art I found myself missing the paints and canvases I've put a way years back.

I loved the characters. Noah is so very adorable and so, so sweet. I really loved when he talked about his relationship with his parents, and at times I felt a sharp thorn of pain right in my heart when he talked about his relationship with his dad. And Jude, I loved every single time she talked about her I loved her absolute, unconditional love for Noah. My heart ached for them.  Also, I loved the romances. Both romances were so lovely. I also really loved the ending. I felt like all loose ends had been tied up and it gave everything a nice sense of closure. I had the biggest smile on my face when I read the end.

So why wasn't this a 5-star read? I'm not usually one for critiquing on writing style, but this particular writing style took me quite a while to adjust to. It was very, very colloquial and all the colloquialism was pretty distracting to me. I also previously mentioned how "magical" the book was, and I liked that aspect but sometimes it was a little too much. It was at the point where I was wondering if there was meant to be supernatural elements. And as much as I adored the romances, they were a little insta-lovey and I'm not the hugest fan of insta-love, but it wasn't to the point that the romances were completely unrealistic.

Overall, this was a beautiful and wondrous read. I loved the family dynamics that were explored and the changes the characters underwent throughout. I highly recommend this book to anyone looking for a truly touching story about the beauty of love and change and forgiveness.

Genre: Urban Fantasy

Trigger/Content Warnings: child abuse

The House in the Cerulean Sea by T.J. Klune

Summary

A magical island. A dangerous task. A burning secret. Linus Baker leads a quiet, solitary life. At forty, he lives in a tiny house with a devious cat and his old records. As a Case Worker at the Department in Charge of Magical Youth, he spends his days overseeing the well-being of children in government-sanctioned orphanages. When Linus is unexpectedly summoned by Extremely Upper Management he's given a curious and highly classified assignment: travel to Marsyas Island Orphanage, where six dangerous children reside: a gnome, a sprite, a wyvern, an unidentifiable green blob, a were-Pomeranian, and the Antichrist. Linus must set aside his fears and determine whether or not they're likely to bring about the end of days. But the children aren't the only secret the island keeps. Their caretaker is the charming and enigmatic Arthur Parnassus, who will do anything to keep his wards safe. As Arthur and Linus grow closer, long-held secrets are exposed, and Linus must make a choice: destroy a home or watch the world burn. 

Rating: ★★★★★ (5/5)

Wow this book was absolutely magical. Wholesome usually isn't my thing, but this book warmed my heart like no other. 

I absolutely adored the characters in the book. Linus' commentary was hilarious. He was so funny throughout the entire book and I loved watching him grow so soft for the kids and for Arthur. And I love Arthur so much he has such a big heart and he's so kind and patient with the kids. Such an amazing father figure. And the kids are kids :") Their blunt remarks had me laughing so hard. I adore the kids so much. My favorite of the kids would have to be little Chauncey who dreams of being a bellhop one day. And what a beautiful and simple dream that is.

However, The House in the Cerulean Sea is not just a cute, fluffy story about kids. At its core it is a story about prejudice and the dangers of complacency. It's a story about how people find it so easy to label the unknown as "dangerous" rather than taking the time to understand it. Each of these kids are seen as "dangerous" by the government and the people just because they're different, so much so that they begin to believe it themselves.

One thing that threw me a tiny bit off was the pacing of the romance. The beginning had me worried because Linus seemed absolutely infatuated from first glance and I'm not a fan of insta-love, so I was worried. But it ended up being a sort of slow-burn that I thoroughly enjoyed. 

Overall, this book is the perfect comforting read for those days when you just need to escape reality for a while. It is one of the most heartwarming stories I've ever had the pleasure of reading, and it has solidified T.J. Klune as one of my favorite authors. This is the perfect story to read in these uncertain, quarantine times.

Genre: Adult Contemporary

Trigger/Content Warnings: miscarriage, abortion, death of a loved one

Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng

Summary

In Shaker Heights, a placid, progressive suburb of Cleveland, everything is planned—from the layout of the winding roads, to the colors of the houses, to the successful lives its residents will go on to lead. And no one embodies this spirit more than Elena Richardson, whose guiding principle is playing by the rules. Enter Mia Warren—an enigmatic artist and single mother—who arrives in this idyllic bubble with her teenaged daughter Pearl, and rents a house from the Richardsons. Soon Mia and Pearl become more than tenants: all four Richardson children are drawn to the mother-daughter pair. But Mia carries with her a mysterious past and a disregard for the status quo that threatens to upend this carefully ordered community. When old family friends of the Richardsons attempt to adopt a Chinese-American baby, a custody battle erupts that dramatically divides the town—and puts Mia and Elena on opposing sides. Suspicious of Mia and her motives, Elena is determined to uncover the secrets in Mia's past. But her obsession will come at unexpected and devastating costs.

Rating: ★★★+(.75) (3.75/5)

I'm honestly very conflicted when it comes to this book. I was contemplating DNF-ing 20% in—I actually ended up picking up The House in the Cerulean Sea when I got bored. However, I ended up liking it, but it didn't really pick up until halfway through the book? And I wasn't completely invested until around 60% in. But when it picked up it really picked up and I couldn't put it down until it was done.

At this point, I think it's pretty obvious that what I look for in books is an engaging plot, intriguing characters, and atmospheric writing. And in almost every one of my reviews I say something along the lines of "I loved the characters." However, when it comes to Little Fires Everywhere, I surprisingly didn't like any of the characters. There were so many of them that I absolutely despised at first glance. However, Celeste Ng has a way of writing such interestingly faceted characters, I found myself thinking twice about each of the characters as I was reading and wondering if I really disliked them (or if I really liked them).

The main plot line and mystery didn't kick in until around a good 100 pages into the book. The first 50 pages mostly emphasize how "perfect" and orderly Shaker Heights is made out to be, and it is an introduction to each of the characters' lives and how they are perceived by the other characters. 

In the latter half of the book, I was completely invested. Some parts of this book had me feeling like my blood was boiling. The custody battle between the white, privileged McCullough's and the Guangdong immigrant Bebe Chow really showcased how self-righteous these privileged people can be. The McCullough's believing that they will raise May Ling in a home that "doesn't see race" and thinking that they will be able to properly teach May Ling about her Chinese culture made me see red. As an Asian-American myself, I got so angry reading about how completely unaware these people are of their blatantly racist remarks. The fact that they completely discard and forget her birth name is May Ling and change it immediately to Mirabelle is very telling about exactly how important May Ling's birth culture is to them. And the fact that they say they're teaching her about her culture by feeding her rice? Honestly I was cheering on Ed Lim when he was destroying Linda on the stand.

Overall, Little Fires Everywhere is a very layered story about classism, privilege, and motherhood. I loved how Ng portrayed people of privilege in contrast to the less-privileged, and how, in such "perfect" and wealthy societies, there is an inherent prejudice against those who aren't made of money. I didn't love it as much as Ng's debut novel, but I liked it nonetheless. It's truly a very thought-provoking book, and I can't wait to watch the hulu show :D 

(I love Reese Witherspoon and Kerry Washington)

Genre: New Adult Contemporary

Trigger/Content Warnings: depression, abuse, sexual assault

Normal People by Sally Rooney

Summary

At school Connell and Marianne pretend not to know each other. He's popular and well-adjusted, star of the school soccer team while she is lonely, proud, and intensely private. But when Connell comes to pick his mother up from her housekeeping job at Marianne's house, a strange and indelible connection grows between the two teenagers—one they are determined to conceal. A year later, they're both studying at Trinity College in Dublin. Marianne has found her feet in a new social world while Connell hangs at the sidelines, shy and uncertain. Throughout their years in college, Marianne and Connell circle one another, straying toward other people and possibilities but always magnetically, irresistibly drawn back together. Then, as she veers into self-destruction and he begins to search for meaning elsewhere, each must confront how far they are willing to go to save the other.

Rating: ★★★ (3/5)

This book has so many polarizing opinions, I was kind of nervous getting into it. I'm typing this a mere 10 minutes after I've finished the book so my thoughts are still kind of everywhere. First of all, despite what the Hulu trailer may look like, this book is not a steamy romance read. It's not a beautiful love story either. But I liked it quite a bit. 

There's something very raw and realistic about stories like Connell and Marianne's. Rooney really doesn't sugar coat anything about their relationship. There were parts where I found it real hard to read the words they were saying to each other because of how stupidly hurtful they were, but at the same time they're conversations I can picture happening in real life. Both Connell and Marianne aren't the best characters—they both do and say things that make you despise them sometimes, but you also can't help but sympathize with what they're going through. I personally really connected with Connell. His college experience isn't unlike what I've been experiencing. 

I wouldn't classify this as a romance book, but more of a coming-of-age sort of story? However, though I don't see this as a romance book, I was undoubtedly very invested in Connell and Marianne's relationship. Something about only feeling like you're you when you're around a certain person really appeals to me :") Also, really random but I learned a lot about Ireland's school/college system and that was really cool.

However, the sheer amount of miscommunication in this book sometimes got to me. I'm someone who likes to read about tragic romances riddled with terrible miscommunications, but sometimes these characters stop talking to each other over something that could have been avoided with one conversation. If only one of them spoke to the other... but then again miscommunications like those are a very real part of life too, I guess.

Also, a really random stylistic observation, but Rooney doesn't use quotation marks and that threw me off a bit, but I got used to it after a while it was just very interesting for a while.

Overall, Normal People is a very real story about college, relationships, craving social acceptance, and the question of what makes someone a "normal" person. It's definitely not a book for everyone, given how polarizing it is, but I think it's definitely worth a read if you're into more angsty, imperfect love stories. I really want to watch the Hulu show now!

Genre: YA Fantasy

Carry On by Rainbow Rowell

Summary

Simon Snow is the worst Chosen One who's ever been chosen. That's what his roommate, Baz, says. And Baz might be evil and a vampire and a complete git, but he's probably right. Half the time, Simon can't even make his wand work, and the other half, he starts something on fire. His mentor's avoiding him, his girlfriend broke up with him, and there's a magic-eating monster running around, wearing Simon's face. Baz would be having a field day with all this, if he were here—it's their last year at the Watford School of Magicks, and Simon's infuriating nemesis didn't even bother to show up. Carry On is a ghost story, a love story and a mystery.

Rating: ★★★★★ (5/5)

Never have I ever read a Rainbow Rowell novel, until now. This used to be on my list of books I probably will never read since it's so popular and hyped and Rowell is a very well-known contemporary author (and I'm not a huge fan of contemporary), but I am so glad I picked this up. Honestly, I wasn't expecting to like this too much since I've heard that it's 'eh' and many people heavily compare it to Harry Potter (which I personally like, but do not love), but I loved this book. This was everything I was looking for at the moment and more, and I devoured this book in less than 24 hours despite its length. 

The book that helped me push through my slump, or at least made me feel like I was pushing through the slump. I read this so fast because it was so fun, I thought my reading slump was over (it's been getting better, but I'm nowhere near as motivated as last month with The Raven Cycle and Green Creek). I loved Simon and Baz's relationship and their enemies-to-lovers relationship development was everything I look for in those kinds of dynamics. I also really loved the friendships, especially Simon and Penelope. I was very invested in both the relationships and the plot and I was just overall very invested in the book. And I just love Baz so much, all you have to do to make me like a character is make them pine [i.e. Ronan Lynch (trc), Lan Wangji (mdzs), Patroclus (tsoa), Andrew Minyard (aftg), Jack (einty), Robbie Fontaine (gc)].

I don't have too much criticism for this book, since it was such a fun read and I find it hard to find too much fault with books that are just so much fun, but I guess I'd have to say there were some elements of the magic and the universe that are left unexplained.

Overall, this is very controversial, but can I wipe Harry Potter books 5-7 from my memory and replace it with this...? After Normal People, I was craving something fun and adventurous and Carry On was the perfect story to immerse myself in. And of course, without saying, I am in love with snowbaz and will probably be picking up Wayward Son sometime soon? I'll try to hold off because who knows when Any Way the Wind Blows will come out there isn't even a release date yet 😭

Genre: YA Contemporary

Trigger/Content Warnings: alcoholism, mental illness

Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell

Summary

A coming-of-age tale of fan fiction, family, and first love. Cath is a Simon Snow fan. Okay, the whole world is a Simon Snow fan. But for Cath, being a fan is her life—and she's really good at it. She and her twin sister, Wren, ensconced themselves in the Simon Snow series when they were just kids; it's what got them through their mother leaving. Reading. Rereading. Hanging out in Simon Snow forums, writing Simon Snow fan fiction, dressing up like the characters for every movie premiere. Cath's sister has mostly grown away from fandom, but Cath can't let go. She doesn't want to. Now that they're going to college, Wren has told Cath she doesn't want to be roommates. Cath is on her own, completely outside her comfort zone. She's got a surly roommate with a charming, always-around boyfriend, a fiction-writing professor who thinks fan fiction is the end of the civilized world, a handsome classmate who only wants to talk about words... And she can't stop worrying about her dad, who's loving and fragile and has never really been alone. For Cath, the question is: Can she do this? Can she make it without Wren holding her hand? Is she ready to start living her own life? Writing her own stories? And does she even want to move on if it means leaving Simon Snow behind?

Rating: ★★+(.5) (2.5/5) 

I thought this was cute. Rowell has a writing style that is very simple and easy to follow, so this felt like a very easy read. And it's relatable too, at least for me, since I can relate to Cath's level of fangirl.

As someone who loves being heavily involved in fandoms, I understand Cath's reluctance to let Simon Snow go. I also heavily relate to Cath's attitude towards all things social in college—uni is terrifying. Change is terrifying. People are terrifying. I don't think I noticed my social anxiety until college. Honestly, everything from being afraid to go to the dining hall because you don't know the system to the abstaining from any and all parties was so in line with my own college experience it made me feel better knowing it isn't just me.

And Levi! I liked Levi a lot. He's sweet and he's so supportive of the fanfiction. In my personal experience, you'd be lucky if a friend even accepted the fanfiction :")

Some things that really bothered me: one of them was Cath's big mistake in her fiction-writing class. I felt like that was a very middle school mistake to make, and she honestly should have known better than to do what she did. It kind of irked me a lot. Despite relating to Cath at times she irked me quite a bit. The plot itself was also pretty slow moving? But then again I'm not a huge fan of contemporaries, but I really liked Levi and I related to Cath but besides that it moved kind of slow.

Overall, Fangirl really made me miss writing (my fanfiction days from years and years back). It was a relatable coming-of-age story about the transition to college and college life in general.

This Month's Stats

Average ★ Rating: 4★

Total Pages Read: 3,061

Total Words Read: 740,862

Total Books Read: 7

Next month...

Earlier I said I was quitting TBR's, and I am, but I did want to talk about the short list books that I desperately want to read, but no promises.

The Gilded Wolves by Roshani Chokshi

This is the pick for Subtle Asian Book Club's June BOTM! This is going to be the first time I read a book with a book club, and I'm very excited!

I've heard a lot about The Gilded Wolves and many people say that there's the found family trope and I love that trope so I'm excited to read!

A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara

Maybe it will finally happen this month, but no promises!

I'm honestly just waiting for a time when my mental health is okay and I'm not stupidly busy. But honestly lately it's either been I'm stupidly busy or my mental health is not all there or both.

Clockwork Angel by Cassandra Clare

I really want to give Cassandra Clare a try again. And I also really miss reading series I feel like reading series is just really exciting and fun and immersive, it's really the perfect way to escape from the world for a while.

I've heard The Infernal Devices trilogy is better than The Mortal Instruments, which kinda went downhill for me as I kept reading, so I'm hoping I'll enjoy this one!

Q :

What are your favorite stand-alone books?

-璇